


Next it’s black.

by samgreenstorm



Series: Missing moments [5]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 06:56:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17893667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samgreenstorm/pseuds/samgreenstorm
Summary: Lucas needs answers that the floor and the night won’t give him.





	Next it’s black.

**Author's Note:**

> Skam is not mine, as you know.  
> I wrote angst again.  
> Why do I do this to myself?  
> The title is from Should I stay or Should I go from The Clash, Lucas likes them and I used to listen to them when I was his age. 😅

Why?! Why?!

He keeps thinking and just doesn’t know what happened.

How did he ended up here, on a unknown street bailing his eyes out, the skin on his knuckles broken, when he keeps bleeding and yelling at the air.

There is a fury and anger within himself he has never felt.

And then there is the pain, he is hurt but his hand doesn’t matter, he has some trouble breathing for all the crying and something deep in his chest also hurts but it doesn’t matter.

Every time he thinks he is better and that he can actually stand up and go back to the flat the image of Eliott happily kissing Lucille comes back and he has to scream again.

He has fought with his friends. He has pushed Arthur.

However he is somewhat relieved he didn’t actually punch him even though he really wanted to it was just that comment pushed him over the edge, the one he was already on after Chloé…

God, Chloé was so angry and she was almost crying, yelling at him that he was gay, she would be fucking happy if she saw him now.

This is what he deserves, he lead her on, he told her he was in love with her, he kissed her, he used her …

To what? To play pretend? Pretend to be normal and straight specially when he is just a big mess and nothing is right with him.

Everything is just too much. He just wants to disappear.

He doesn’t want to come back to a house where they don’t want him and where his roommate is pissed at him because he is shit at explaining himself.

An unexpected laugh gets out of his mouth.T

Just yesterday he was ready, to be with Eliott no matter what.

He was ready to tell his parents, to be a little more himself. The real Lucas, the one he has almost forgotten.

And now? Now he is sitting on the hard cold floor with nowhere to go.

There are so many places he has to go but doesn’t want to.

Lucas is afraid of running into Eliott at school but seeing as the older boy apparently barely goes. It’s a type of consolation however if he does run into him Lucas knows he won’t be able to talk to him without yelling, scream at him for deceiving him, for playing him, for fooling him, for getting him to show himself and then leave.

Not anymore, not after tonight. He was so stupid, such a fucking idiot believing every word that Eliott said, all those sweet words that are worthless now.  
Just like Lucas is.

His head rests on the door and Lucas closes his eyes for a brief moment trying to regain some type of calm.

Inhale, Exhale.

Breathing hurts. Thinking hurts.

He wants to be numb, he needs that fleeting numbness he felt just a few moments ago.

He doesn’t want this.

If only he could come back to last Friday and feel all that he felt then.

Lucas hits his head with the door.

No, don’t think about that.

That’s over. Forget it. That never happened.

That’s his new mantra.

He needs to erase Eliott kissing Lucille two days after he told him they broke up and what his parents would think of them as a couple.

Just two days. What changed? What did he do or say? He must have done something wrong or there must be something really wrong with him.

Not even his own parents want him. His dad completely ignores him and his mom, she’d send him to hell the minute she knows he likes boys.  
And his friends, they just don’t seem to care not that he cares much about them lately, truthfully.

He opened up and showed all of himself to one person and now Eliott is kissing Lucille like nothing ever happened between them.

The only time when people like him is when he is lying and faking.

Lucas just can’t do it now, not anymore.

He is still crushed and furious but he only has himself and that has to be enough.

He stands up, rubs the wetness off his eyes and starts walking home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 😊  
> And if you wanna rant about two pretty sad French boys, I’m @samgreenstorm on tumblr.


End file.
